Monday, October 14, 2013

Funny jokes-Current weather

Top ten ways to describe the current weather
10.Partly apocalyptic

9.Mostly sweaty

8.Fetid with a chance of putrid

7.Toupee-glue melting

6.Sauna-rific

5.Sunstroke-tastic

4.Soupy (but not chilled soups, like Vichyossie or Gazapcho)

3.Global basting

2.Mamma Mia, that's a spicy forecast!

1.So shvitzy I could plotz

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Doctor jokes-Crabs

Doctor: "I'm afraid I have some good news and  some bad news, Miss Hottwot."

Miss Hottwot said, "Well, give me the good news first, Doc."

Doctor, speaking rather somberly, said, "Your lab tests came back today, and your crabs are all gone."

Miss Hottwot smiled, and said "Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"

Doctor: "We don't know what killed them."

Friday, October 11, 2013

Blonde jokes-Quickest way

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blonde's pants?
 

A: First, pick them up off the floor.

Limericks-Spread eagle

Tina lay there spread eagle in bed,
Her eyes were rolled back in her head.
Not a sign of resentment,
Only total contentment,
Not screwed, she's been eaten instead.